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a semi update....

well, i'm horrible at updating this thing... hope everyone doesn't hate me, if so... too bad. nothing to do about it! :P haha

well... what's new? umm, lol well, since my last post, i was written off by zack, now we'll see what happens when he comes home... i have had pretty much a confirmation that i won't be going on a mission anytime soon... have bought 2 cars, :/ gertrudora (my first one) had the compression go out, so i bought a saturn (never named him though) and learned to drive a manual... well, he died in dec. (smoking a lot of white smoke so its burning coolant) :( and now i own FiFi. she's a ford, and just awesome! she's red, unlike my other two greenish cars,so its a nice change. ok....so i'm kinda living on my own, with friends, so i'm not paying rent, but its been nice to get out on my own a bit. get the feeling of living on my own, just w/o paying the money for it! :) its great! umm... i'm still going to school, working my freaking butt off in the music program. 20 credits wasn't exactly the smartest thing to do this semester...! i'm starting to take education classes though, so that's exciting! other than that...nothing is really new.

i'm super frustrated at the moment right now though.. and just wanted to vent for a few min, so bear with me....
why is it, that the things you want, you can never seem to have!? for example... i want to date. but can't, because there are no interested guys, and its dumb. i want to date!! even if its just for fun... is it so hard a thing to do? it shouldn't... what's funny, is i have a ton of guy friends, but still to no avail... seems like my track record is like a good every 4 or 5 months. sucks! why can't there just be more guys that are interested in me? is there something wrong??? gah!!!!!
sometimes i just wish that i had a time machine...then i could go into the future and see who i marry, then come back, and just not worry about it, cuz i'd know that it'd happen, and when and to who...so i'd quit worrying so much about it. it just sucks when its just so happens to be like my biggest goal of my life...to get married, i mean. but... i know i know, i have to be patient, my time will come, yeah, i've heard all of that crap. i know its true, but i'm sick of it regardless. its not like i wanna get married right away, or to the next guy i date, but i DO wanna at least go on dates and have fun. why is it that all the freshmen get the dates?? what's wrong with a junior??! huh?? sigh....................

ok. there's my rant for the evening...

peace!

I LOVE A MISSIONARY!! :)

oh my goodness... i love a missionary! haha that's probably not allowed... but i do anyway. and... i'm pretty sure he loves me back... at least... i hope he does... lol but seriously? tuesdays are my favorite days EVER! why you may ask? haha well, let me tell you: tuesdays are zack's email days. his P days are monday, but in port lavaca, where he's serving in texas at the moment, the libraries are closed on mondays, soo.... he emails on tuesday instead. :) and his mother,(bless her soul!) forwards the letters to me every week after she gets them. oh goodness i love her and her family... and most of all, her oldest son. :) zack is such an awesome missionary... i can tell. the things he says in his letter just reek of confidence and faith in relying on the lord with him and his companion! he has told me in letters too, that the only way to really get through life is to rely on the lord, asking help with everything and anything we need help with. i know its simple things, and things i've known for myself for awhile... but to hear zack say them... its incredible. i didn't know him growing up of course, but through the last 3 1/2 years that i have known him... not to mention the last 2 years of actually dating him (except for the part with him being gone of course, idk what to call that), he has never been a big one for bearing his testimony on things. so to hear him bear his testimony, is really special. i love it!!! he has grown so incredibly much since he left 9 months ago... and it is my prayer, that i can be as prepared and spiritually on the same level as he is when he comes back. and of course, if we are, then i certainly hope that we can get married. but... its all up to the lord of course, so we'll just have to see what happens! but as for now... i love a special missionary,in port lavaca, texas, who's about 6'2", who loves to wear cowboy boots and drive a redneck baby blue 1980 CJ5 jeep, has dark curly hair, light brown eyes, and the most crooked teeth you've ever seen in your life... but a beautiful smile.... and he's the biggest gentleman i have ever met in my life... not to mention a pretty dang good kisser! ;) jk. sigh... it goes without need to say that i am in love... and hopelessly devoted to a man i won't see for another year and a half (roughly)... but i do know one thing: its going to be worth it. all of it. all of the tears, laughs, trials, heartbreaks, long distance letter relationship stuff, the no letter spells, and only hearing each others voices and seeing pictures of each other for 2 years. its going to ALL be worth it in the end. :)

Testimony

I have a testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that the Lord restored his church by way of the prophet Joseph Smith. I know that we have a living prophet today, named President Thomas S. Monson. I know that the Book of Mormon is true, and so is all the other forms of scripture we have, like the old and new testaments, the pearl of great price, the doctrine and covenants, hymns, the family: proclamation to the world, the Living Christ, and also the ensign, new era and even the friend magazines. :) I know that personal revelation is real, and it can come by way of the scriptures, or by the voice of the spirit. I also know that we have temples on this earth, in which, we can become closer to our heavenly father, and perform work for the dead, who can't do for themselves. I know that families can be together forever, and couples can be sealed together for time and all eternity to each other, and also to their children, by way of these temples, and the special ordinances that take place inside. i know that the lord has a plan for each of us. I know that with his help, we can accomplish anything we set our mind to. I know that the power of prayer works. I also know that the power of the priesthood is real. both i have witnessed in my life, and know of a surety that they are real. i know that the word of wisdom works. by living its guidelines, we can be a healthier and happier people, i have witnessed this in my own life. I KNOW THIS CHURCH IS TRUE! I bear testimony of these things, and all other sub categories of the gospel and its truthfulness that i have not mentioned above. I love my savior Jesus Christ, and my Father in Heaven with all my heart. I am proud to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints! I have my testimony, and that is one thing that the world and Satan will never take away from me. I love my life, and this church, and i love all of you! I say these things, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. :)

Sudden Realizations

Sigh... ya know what's really really humbling? Having the Lord stop you in your tracks is what! Just when I thought I had everything figured out... I knew what I was going to do with my life for the next 2 years... I would graduate this semester with my Associate of Science... I'd go on a mission right after, and then I'd come home and be able to start school again right away. I'd then get married to Zack like 6 months later, and life would just be ultimate bliss! .... That's not what the Lord has in store for me though however. at least... that's what its looking like right now. I'm not exactly sure WHAT he wants from me at the current moment...well, other than the normal stuff, broken heart, contrite spirit, whole heart, mind, and soul devoted to him... you know the drill. but as for my life plan... I, for once in my life, have nothing. I don't know what I'm doing...or what's going to happen! and for someone like me, this is incredibly daunting... downright scary even! sigh... But... I do know one thing. That even though he's stopped me in my tracks right now... its all going to work out just fine. :) right now, I know I need to keep studying the gospel. i need to learn his word, but not preach it just yet... and i know i need to be here for a few of my friends. they need me... and it makes me think of that scripture, i don't know the reference, but it says something like "if ye have joy over bringing one soul into my kingdom, how great shall be your joy if ye bring many souls unto me" or something like that... well, I have always taken that scripture as missionary work, and it is saying that of course, but... instead of trying to focus on the "many souls" right now... i'm going to focus on the "one soul". starting with myself. then i can focus on other souls, one soul at a time. after myself, i'll focus on the friends i know who need me.
I've also realized that while life may all of a sudden change on you... it doesn't stop. meaning... i still have things to do, people to see, letters to write, etc. even though my life has taken a total leap in the other direction than i thought it would go. :/ I can't give up on the rest of the world, just because mine is a heap of confusion. lol i'm a part of this world, and might as well participate!
probably my last realization is that i literally can't do anything on my own... i mean without the Lord's help. He really is the only way i can get through this life, and all the trials and crazy stuff that gets thrown my way in the mean time. not only is he in charge... he's leading the way. :) i've known this my entire life, but its only been the last couple weeks that its finally sunk in. if i wanna get through anything, i've gotta pretty much just let it all go, and give it all to Him. that's the only way its possible. I am SO grateful to my lord and savior jesus christ.... without him, i'd be a total goner i'm sure! lol but seriously, with him, i can accomplish anything, and get through the crazy stuff i have going now. :) i love my life! even though its ridiculous sometimes! :)

Zack's Birthday

Ok, So, many of you know...I have a boyfriend/missionary. And those who didn't know...Well, haha you do now!
So, today is Elder Zachary Aaron Sawyer's Birthday.He is serving in the Texas, Houston South mission, and is currently in a little town called Port Lavaca.He's been out for 8 months now, and has 16 left(no of course i'm not counting down...;) ) and... He's now 20 years old... we're finally the same age again! LOL I'm ten months older than he is...yeah i know, haha cougar, right? hahaha But...its his birthday. and...its been a rough day for me.
First of all, it was a rough week. I started out flying home from texas on sunday after babysitting for his aunt and uncle while they went on a cruise. I was of course in Lubbock texas, at the complete opposite side of the state. so NO i did not see him while there. haha i was only 9 1/2 hours away from him though... it was kinda cool. Anyway... I got home, and was in school literally from the morning i woke up to late at night, well after dark. so i'm already exhausted. then i got sick with the flu on friday, and then had to work 10 hours, as opposed to the original 8 i was supposed to work on sunday. I'm totally pooped at this moment! But, even though i was so tired all day today...I couldn't help but think the entire time about zack, and how its his birthday, and how much i wish i could see him to wish him happy birthday to his face...
it was really his birthday that started our whole relationship... two years ago today, early in the morning, his sister kylee stole his phone while he was in the shower, and texted all of his friends in his phone (on her phone of course)telling them to come to a surprise birthday party for him later that night at their neighbors the montgomery's house...I had just barely gotten a phone 3 days previous, so i was very lucky that i got the message! I luckily didn't have any plans going on that night, so I thought, what the heck? I might as well go. I was actually texting him off and on throughout the whole day, so it was really a surprise to him when he walked in the door and saw me...I hadn't given anything away! LOL i'd even been asking him about his birthday dinner at the same time he walked in, like where he went and all, (texas roadhouse, of course!) at the same time he walked in the door. He was so surprised....I still remember that look he gave me... he was like "what? you're here too? how?!" then we all explained it to him, and he was still surprised. He got into the party though soon enough. we had cake and ice cream, he opened cards and presents from friends and family, we played rock band, and just sat around and talked with everyone till we were bored or tired. haha actually... zack was the only person i knew at the entire party. i didn't know any of his friends, alex, cameron, heather...let alone his parents or family. His parents left soon afterwards, leaving zack to find a ride home, or walk. well... it soon became aparant that I was to be the drive home. (personally? i think he kinda planned it that way, but who knows if i'll ever know!) he'd been flirting with me the whole time during the party...like texting me right in the middle of me trying to play the guitar for the rock band, or trying to tickle me, usually succeeding...(grr!) and just teasing me, making me laugh. well... I drove him home, we talked for a couple minutes, then he made me get out of the car to give him a "birthday hug". I hadn't gotten him anything for his birthday, so... I guess this was fair. i didn't think much of it though, other than i kinda liked it... :) his mom told me later (just a few months ago actually, after he left) that when he came inside, he was so gosh dang happy, he was bouncing off the walls! just because he got a hug from me...I guess he liked me more then than i thought he did...
after that...well, we just continued to text and flirt and hang out here and then, and then after my break up with brian (who i had been dating at the time of this whole birthday thing) it was about 2 weeks later we just kinda...fell into dating...i asked him to go with me to a 4h dance, and...after dancing a couple songs, he didn't let go of my hand...and i let him keep it. I was so worried (as were my sisters) about hurting him, like this was some sort of rebound or whatnot... but...almost 2 years later and we're still "together"!
The last couple years have been eventful, to say the least, and its not always been easy. but i can definitely say that i've learned a lot, and that I honestly think its all been worth it. all the tears, both happy and heart breaking all mean something so strong to me, that i'd never give any of them up. letting him go on a mission was and is one of the hardest things i've ever had to do...its like taking your heart, breaking it in two, and keeping only part... only that's literally what it's felt like. countless nights i cry myself to sleep because i miss him so much...like, i probably will tonight. unless you've experienced a love like that, this probably sounds cheesy and cliche to you... and it probably is in a way. but to me, this is reality. this is my life, and i hope that he continues to be a part of my life throughout eternity. :) but we'll see what the lord throws at either of us.
This has been a very eventful and emotional time to say the least... but its just one of the many adventures i find myself on.

Happy birthday Zack....I love ya babe! :)

New Start At Life...?

Alright... So, This blog originally started out for a homework assignment for my English 1010 class. So, if the previous posts make absolutely no sense to anyone... that's why. And, even though I've never particularly liked the idea of blogs... I have one, so i might as well use it right? I'm not gonna be nearly as religious as some of my other friends on here however... like posting every day, or week or every major event... well, maybe major events... IF i remember that is. But... we'll just have to see I guess how this goes. regardless of how this does go though, I'll only be keeping up with this for maybe another 4 months or so... Then I will hopefully be on my own LDS mission!! I don't have my call yet, but I should be done with all the paperwork and interviews hopefully this week! I'm so excited! Ok, but anyway... I wasn't going to rant and rave about that this first post...so I'm not going to! :P meh. haha I'll save that for another time I guess... not as if I'm really expecting anyone to actually read this or not... But... why not? If anything, this can at least be a sort of journal for me, because i'm horrible at actual physical writing in a journal. i used to be really good! honestly i was... but... haha then i started dating people and... forgot/ got too busy? idk. but, sadly enough, I have never written about my first kiss, who i've dated, graduation/ admissions into college... COLLEGE!! basically... anything from the last 4 years, i have no record of, except from my memory. and a few random entries that i did write down, and old saved text messages. see?? i'm horrible! but I'm hoping that this blog can also help me get past that whole horrible-ness... and start recording some of my life's biggest events. haha cuz heaven knows i've had a lot in the past few years... especially the last 2 years!

So...anyone who's really interested... you're welcome to read and follow along my new start life... (if you're really that bored as to want to read about my life...) but i give fair warning...this blog is named Jessie's Adventures... which is kind of miss leading... anyone who knows me knows that I AM the adventure! lol my personal life...kinda boring. but whatev. if you wanna read about my boring life...who's gonna stop you? unless your like creepy stalkerish kinda weird... i won't anyway. well, whatever the reason you're reading this... i hope you're at least somewhat entertained... haha but regardless... hope ya enjoy the ride! :D

roundtable discussion

ok. so for class on monday we had a discussion where everyone said what they were going to write about, then the rest of the group gave feedback. i have chosen to (somehow) write about why school districts should teach manual driving skills instead of just automatic. they need to teach kids how to drive both stick and automatic basically.
so, as for the feedback i got for acknowledging the other side... well, to be honest, anything i got from my peers was really the same thing i had gotten when thinking about it myself. as for what i'm going to use, well, i'll probably use the ideas of the differences in keeping the car running, how its better for fuel costs, but how it also is more likely to have clutches burn out faster if students were learning how to drive on them. i will use how even though these kinds of cars get better control while driving, and less maintaining, there is also less stick shift cars made, so this is probably partly why not as many people know how to drive them.

*ANY OTHER FEEDBACK FROM ANYONE ELSE ON HOW TO DO THIS PAPER WILL BE GREATLY APPRECIATED!!!*

questions from 365

well... i actually figured out what my topic would be pretty much at the end of the class... and it was from my classmates helping me figure it out. but after looking at the questions now, i think that the problem of people not knowing how to drive stick realy exists now. i'm a living proof of it. this has been caused by drivers ed teachers only teaching kids how to drive automatic cars, and not having the two different kinds for access. the history... well its been going on forever far as i know. the bad effects are that people don't know how to drive stick, and can actually cause some people to get hurt, or in a bad situation if they don't know how to drive stick. if people knew how, this could solve people from being in a dangerous situation like stranded on a mountain with only a stick driven car. everyone who drives is affected by this problem... and that's basically it.

two topics

OK...to be honest, I'm (again)struggling on coming up with a topic or in this case, two topics on what we have to write about for this solutions paper. i guess some of my ideas would be animal restrictions in neighborhoods, but as to how I'd propose a solution for that, i have no idea. i can't think of anything that's a problem, or at least one that i could fix with 4h or gas prices, even though gas prices is a big problem in my book. another idea i guess is that the little league baseball fields need to have more bleachers or seating for families and friends to watch the kids play. this would help have support for the players from their parents. i can think of plenty of problems, but i can't think of any way that i could fix them... i guess I'm too easy going of a person!hopefully, I'll think of something fast, so i don't have to struggle as much with this paper as i have with the last ones.

catching up/ interview day

ok, so i'm going off of memory here, the blog for friday was i believe that we had to talk about what we thought of the interview day, and how it went. well, i really liked the activity, i got to know the person i interviewed a lot better. i did find however that the questions i had planned to ask, i didn't get to ask all of them, and the ones i did ask, we ended up going way far off subject from them... So i didn't get to ask all of them that i wanted to. i did find out a lot about my person though. though, as to if i have enough info to write a paper about that person.. i don't know. we mostly just talked about random stuff and things we had in common, or stories about what our family and friends have done. at any rate, it was still nice getting to know that person. i know for my actual interview, i will have to make sure i stay on subject more so.

Delving Deeper

I think its important to not just all of a sudden jump into really deep personal questions. because of this, i plan on asking a few questions to break the ice, like where they are from, what their familiy is like, and what they like to do in thier spare time. to add a little depth to my latter questions though, i might ask things like how their family has influenced their beliefs in certain matters. what's important to them. if growing up where they did influenced how they look on life, and if they could change where or how they grew up, would they? i also want to ask a few silly questions, because i think that in order to really get to a person's true self, you can't ask all boring deep questions. they have to be fun too. so one question i would like to ask, is if they had an extra hour in a day, to use however they wanted to, what would they use it for, and why? i think this activity will be quite interesting for us to find out about one another, but i will admit that i am a bit intimidated by the idea. i don't like to speak to people i don't know very well, especially about matters that i feel are somewhat personal. anyway, i guess we'll just have to see how tomorrow goes!

comparison/contrast

the car i am driving now is a Lincoln town car, with a v8 engine with horrible gas mileage, whereas my new car is a Pontiac, with a 4 cylinder engine and great gas mileage.the paint on my new car is coming off, while my old car's paint is almost like new. the seats are really comfortable in my old car, but my new cars seats are kind of dirty and not comfortable at all. no work is needed for my old car, but my new car has a few things that need to be fixed before it can be registered. there is heat in my old car, and no heat in my new car. both of the cars are good cars, even though they are different brands. they both have radio, and both will last forever if i take good care of them.

Struggles with Research Paper

ok...struggles? haha where do I start?? i've had so many problems writing this paper... i swear it just hates me or something. first of all, the bibliography was extremely hard for me to do. i have no idea why... i realize it shouldn't have been as hard as it was, but it was for some reason. i couldn't get the right format going... or the right kind of sites, or really just understanding how it was done. i hope i did it right now. ok... but for this actual paper?? well, finding the stuff wasn't so difficult.. there's plenty of stuff supporting homeschooling. only thing is, i'm not exactly sure how i'm supposed to show the opposition. what is the opposition in my case? am i supposed to show why homeschooling is bad? or why public schools are good? either one of those options kinda just takes away from my entire paper... so i guess that maybe i just don't understand this concept... or whatever. like i said, i think the whole thing just hates me or something. so i guess that's the really big struggle i'm having. finding the opposition. that's what my peers told me from the peer review too. i need to have the opposition side showing... but i don't see how i'm supposed to do that exactly. this whole thing is just really confusing!! it also doesn't make sense to do research on something that the info has already been researched... like if your trying to make a new discovery or something, so you create your own new experiments or something, i'd understand, and this would make sense to me. but being as anyone can go find this info online, or read about it where ever they want to... it doesn't make sense to me why we should be writing a whole new paper on it. what's the point really? anyway... that's my rant for this post. hopefully i'll just get this whole paper over and done with and i can forget it. haha heaven knows i procrastinated enough already for this paper, so i'm glad its almost done and over with.

Class Discussion

ok... so this is supposed to be on what help we recieved from the discussion we had in class? i really liked being able to discuss everyone's papers by the way. it seemed like we were an actual group of students with the same goals... instead of just a class. anyway... umm...lets see... i don't remember anyone giving any specific help to my papers exactly... from what i got from the discussion on my paper, was everyone was just trying to figure out what i was really writing about. and we had to leave by the time everyone finally got the idea. so... as to exactly how they helped me... i can't say. because i don't feel as if i really got any help. :S So...i guess that doesn't really answer the question for the blog entry... but that's all i got.

research peer review

well... being as i didn't have the first three pages of my paper done on the peer review date... i guess this blog entry is useless. but just in case i can get extra points for actually doing this...i'm all for it :)
i came and asked how i could actually write my paper without quoting every site i find...which honestly seems like the most logical thing to do. but, being as that would make no sense to write a paper in the first place, i'm going to do it using my own words how the teacher suggested. i can take from my own experiences, and write a paper like that, without it seeming like a personal paper. i will then add a few quotes, and perhaps statistics, and information that i have found in my sources. this whole thing should be able to create my paper.
i know this isn't the actual assignment that was specified, but it was nice to get my thoughts down in here anyway.

Three FOR Reasons

my three reasons for picking the side that i did are hard for me to say actually. i really don't care that much either way about obama, and i try to be as little involved with his politics as possible. i will say that his idea to reform the health care is kinda stupid in my opinion...because the system is already abused enough. if this reform goes through, then the entire medical feild will be abused even more by those without insurance. second... i think he's trying too hard. you don't have to make peace with the whole world for your country to like you. third, i think you should be paying more attention to the country you're a president of, before you start sending people off to a different country especially when you said that you'd bring the troops home. pay more attention to your own country before you go off fraternizing with the other countries.

Obama debate

this debate thing was good because we were able to look at both sides of the table. this is very important because in order to have an argument about anything... you have to have something to argue against.its really important also to acknowledge the other side to make sure that your argument is not just biased based off of your own personal beliefs or interests.

argument activity

i learned from the activity in class about picking a side for an argument that in some topics, there can be many different sides to a specific topic. some may be good, or bad, or even both, but they are all still reasonable arguments for each topic. picking a topic is still going to be hard for me though. i thought i did have a topic, but now that i have looked more into my topic, i have realized that it probably isn't a topic that i could have a good argument. so... i need to figure out a completely knew topic now, and make sure that i can have a credible argument for it. so being as if this activity actually helped or not for writing my own research paper... i can't really say. i might say no, simply because now i'm even more confused about which topic i should find/pick. but then again, i can say yes, because now i have more of an idea on what to look for- something with an easy argument from both sides that i can model to my own side and argument.

In text citation fears

so this entry is supposed to be about how we aren't scared anymore about adding our in text citations... I guess this entry is kinda pointless because my paper is already done at this point... but i will say that before i was done i was still really nervous and worried about doing them, even though we had talked about them in class. my problem was that each citation we used in class seemed to come only from an article or book, and i used some sources that were not talked about, or even used as examples in our textbook. i guess that was stupid on my part and i should change that for when i do the research paper, but that was my problem. now i only hope that i did the citations right in this paper!